


to give you something

by joohyuk



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, it's not even. sad. if im being real with u !!, just some wholesome showho celebrating christmas in the middle of the apocalypse, poorly-written pseudo angst (???)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-27 11:56:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17161562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joohyuk/pseuds/joohyuk
Summary: Hyunwoo feels that heavy weight in his chest thudding inside him, bouncing between his ribs without realizing—or maybe knowing too well—the consequences of falling.





	to give you something

**Author's Note:**

> this is my gift for Monbebe Secret Santa 2018 for the lovely [alex !!](https://guravitys.tumblr.com/) :D 
> 
> i hope you all like this! it's my very first time ever writing showho and i struggled. twitter knows... hehe
> 
> unbeta'ed as per usual !! we love consistency

“Merry Christmas.”

 

Hyunwoo wakes to something heavy thudding squarely on his chest. His breath catches in his throat from surprise, and his eyes more or less rip themselves open, all traces of sleep lost as he fumbles to get the weight off of him. He gets tangled in the sleeping bag, kicking and writhing like a fish out of water.

 

Above him, Hoseok laughs.

 

“Steady does it,” he says, squatting down to help Hyunwoo, picking up the offending box and sitting Hyunwoo up, “how’s the leg?” They both turn to stare down at Hyunwoo’s right thigh, which is still stiff with infection and bandaged rather heavily, thanks to Hoseok.

 

“‘S fine.” Hyunwoo mutters with a frown, turning his attention back to Hoseok and ignoring the throbbing ache in his leg. “I should be able to walk properly in a few more—”

 

“Nope.” Is Hoseok’s succinct response. “What you _should_ do is get as much rest as you can.” Without much other warning, Hoseok once again passes the box to Hyunwoo, who grabs at it more deftly now in comparison to his show earlier.

 

Hyunwoo frowns, staring at the tiny package, which is a little worn around the edges, lovingly decorated with various scraps of paper tied in a rather neat-looking bow. For some reason, his breath catches in his throat a second time; only now it feels heavier, weighing down on his chest and it feels as though he could choke on the feeling, succumb to it and let it drag him to the depths of himself that feels longing for the boy staring down at him with stars in his eyes.

 

He feels something slide around rather heavily inside the box; it makes a rather strange noise, and he wonders idly what Hoseok could’ve found to gift him. “What’s in it?” Hyunwoo asks in a low, grumbling mumble. He finds that he can’t turn to look back at Hoseok now that the feeling in his chest presses down on his shoulders, forcing his eyes down. So instead, he takes to tracing a finger along the ridges and faults between the various papers stuck and tied together with a concentrated stare.

 

Hoseok tsks. “Open it and see for yourself, dummy.” The younger nudges him gently, bumping their shoulders together encouragingly. “C’mon, I didn’t do this for you to stare into empty space.” The inflection in his voice is giddy, and from the corner of his eye, Hyunwoo can see Hoseok’s shy smile. His heart does a strange thing, flipping and twisting in on itself like a vine; something new, something that springs flowers and petals in his chest and makes him so very full and so very scared at the same time. He blinks, turning his attention back to the gift in his lap, and it subsides. It’s just waves lost at sea.

 

His movements feel unsure; his hand comes up to tear at the wrapping paper but stops midway, his eyes trailing back to Hoseok, who watches on with the same stars in his eyes. With a thump, the box’s top falls uselessly beside him, and Hyunwoo feels suspended between the sky and the ground. Tumultuously, every feeling in the known universe comes together into one singular point, tossing him, making him tumble and fall like Newton’s apple to the boy sitting not a couple feet from him.

 

“I,” Hyunwoo starts. To both their surprise, his voice sounds heavy, unsure. Hoseok presses into Hyunwoo’s space, eyes flitting between him and the box, a worried frown growing on his face.

 

“Did—was it too much?” The younger asks rather frantically, his shaking hands flying up and hovering around Hyunwoo. “I thought you would like it… I know they’ve been gone a long while and—” Hoseok grunts when Hyunwoo pulls him to his chest, the hand not holding the box coming up to squeeze at the younger’s shoulder.

 

“No, God; it’s _perfect_.”

 

In the box is a small picture frame; there’s wood splintered in several places and a large crack in the glass, but Hyunwoo can’t help but heave out a sigh as his mother and father stare up at him with soft smiles. It’s the picture from Hyunwoo’s high school graduation; he’s awkward, standing stiffly with his certificate in his hands. His parents stand to either side of him; his mother leaning her whole body against him with a wide smile, his father equally as stiff as Hyunwoo, but glowing warm and proud. He remembers it as being a good day; after the ceremony, he’d been treated to a steak dinner and spent the night watching old movies together.

 

It seems like was decades ago, the time when he was happy and young and _naive_ ; since his parents were alive to love and guide him through the harsh realities of the world. At 26, he imagined being married, having a stable job as either an accountant or maybe even a dance instructor, visiting his parents every weekend or so and being content with his life. He’d never imagined having to fight the people he used to call friends, family as they came at him in hoards.

 

He’d never imagined being alone.

 

The hand that squeezes at his shoulder is soft, and yet it startles him out of his thoughts so thoroughly that he can barely catch himself. He swears that he can’t help it. One minute, he’s turning to stare up helplessly at Hoseok, warm tears falling like rain and fire all at once down his cheeks, and the next, he’s pressing the entirety of himself into Hoseok, hoping to make some sort of home there in that heart of his, as he presses a kiss square to the younger’s lips.

 

Hoseok’s eyes flutter, halfway open and halfway shut, as though he wants to relish the feeling but take the moment in at the same time. His hand reaches up to meet him somewhere in the middle, but Hyunwoo is gone, pulling away as quickly as he’d fallen down. “Sorry,” he mumbles, his eyes falling back to the picture frame quickly; but not quick enough that he can’t see Hoseok’s fingertips resting softly on his own hips in surprise.

 

He turns, and he _swears_ that he only turns to see if he’d hallucinated the flush that ran high on the younger’s cheeks in that sliver of a second he’d caught him. Instead, his gaze catches Hoseok’s, all too sudden, like a bear trap. He’s stuck, helpless and unable to do much else as he watches the smile on Hoseok’s face grow from something confused to something bright.

 

Maybe he’s high from the feeling of the kiss or the moment, but he realizes that there is something in Hoseok’s smiles that can make him forget about zombies and dying and having everything you’ve ever loved turned to ash. It’s a smile that, in its softness, could even bring the stars to their knees.

 

Hoseok giggles, loud and unabashed, echoing in the small room they’re squished in; and Hyunwoo feels that heavy weight in his chest thudding inside him, bouncing between his ribs without realizing—or maybe knowing too well—the consequences of falling.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, Newton had written, and Hyunwoo used to believe it was a dumb way of saying things happen because of other things. But Hoseok’s eyes shine and his smile is sweet, and Hyunwoo thinks that maybe he really isn’t so alone.

**Author's Note:**

> i ended up writing this fic a solid 3 times because it just... didn't feel right so i hope this was somewhat decent !!
> 
> i hope you all are having a really good holiday and i hope you all have an amazing new year as well !! let's dream more and love more in 2019 :D
> 
> (feel free to leave some love by giving me ur kudos and/or comments,, i thrive when people yell at/with me)


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